In my earlier artist years, I wasted a lot of energy. I was a career energy waster, truth be told. Then, I ran out of energy. I actually ran myself into the ground and was forced to stop pursuing performing and reconsider my path. Ultimately, I came back to it and to my belief that this great beauty, ART, has the power to change the world in ways nothing else can. But, in order to move back into it, I knew I had to figure out how to stop wasting energy.
What was I wasting energy on? Oh, SO MANY THINGS but for today I’ll talk about this one: I was constantly bemoaning what I did NOT have.
I don’t have enough time. I don’t have enough money. I don’t have the networking connections. I don’t have, I don’t have, I don’t have … blah, blah, blah.
And, after bemoaning what I didn’t have, I’d usually move on to comparing my lack of *have* with others’ seeming abundance.
She’s successful because she has money. Her dad is famous. She has time so she’s not tired like I am and so on and so forth. If I had those things I’d [fill in the blank], too.
I even had a coach (a belated thanks to him, Alex Katsman, for this) cut me off during one of my comparison rants by saying, “What a waste of your f…ing energy. You could be using this time, this energy, to work right now.”
Well, it took a few years but I finally turned the tide. It was exhausting and disheartening to constantly feel that I was not enough, did not have enough, etc. So, I hit rock bottom then I found my solution. What CAN I do? What DO I have? At the time, I had a full-time job. I couldn’t practice a lot but I COULD put in one hour every day after work. I would take myself straight home or straight to a practice room and do this. I couldn’t make very many auditions but I could create my own cabaret in the hours I could control. You get the picture.
This line of thought changed me completely. It changed my core DNA on some levels. And, I started to see growth and to feel like life was actually full to the brim with blessings. It is astounding how far a little bit can go. It’s been years since I turned that corner but even now, when I get discouraged or catch myself feeling sad about what I do not have or cannot do, I remind myself of ALL the so-many things I CAN do … I call it the “Can-Can.” 🙂 And, with the “Can-Can” in play, I am re-invigorated every time.
With the world being what it is right now, I like so many others feel down trodden. I feel like it is impossible to turn the tide. That the weight is too heavy. I feel overwhelmed by what I cannot do. What we do not have as a country. But as I sit with that I am realizing something. The answer is the same. Instead of thinking about what I can NOT do, I must move into the “Can-Can.”
I CAN do small, loving things every single day. I CAN feed people. I CAN hug people. I CAN listen. I CAN humble myself. I CAN vote. I CAN create beauty through my art. I CAN tell important stories. I CAN dream. And I cannot help but think that if we all did the “Can-Can,” the world’s DNA might slowly be transformed.
Dream the Impossible Dream. Why Not.
To Dream the Impossible Dream from Tamra Paselk on Vimeo.